fI woke to a beautiful blue, morning sky, just screaming at me to get up! I covered my eyes and ears to avoid the obvious. But something was painfully wrong with this picture. The screaming in my head continued and I realized it was my grandson just wanting me to get up. Thankfully, grandpa took him to breakfast so I could catch a few more zzz's! When they arrived home in two hours, I knew that I would not be getting out of bed today. It had happened. I tried to deny for weeks, but, it slammed me into immediate guilt--I was in a full-blown depressive state. What had started out as the "blues" last week, now had taken on a definite shape. A fog, devoid of color and creativity. Who I am had come to a screeching halt!
Time for auto-pilot to kick in. First, find a show to entertain my grandson, scattered with snacks and juice boxes. Second, make the cancellation calls while still in a lucid state. Cancel dinner plans, call in sick for teaching Sunday School and get someone to pick-up teaching materials. Check.
Two days of accountability taken care of. It's amazing how fast I can coordinate getting out of obligations, when I'm depressed, but yet so draining to move forward.
For, now, depression has kicked my butt. I'll take some time to sleep and figure a plan out of this.
No comments:
Post a Comment